It's expected that the couple keep the shadchan up-to-date on how the shidduch is going at regular intervals.
If the shidduch does not work out, then usually the shadchan is contacted and it is he/she that tells the other side that it will not be going ahead.
In strictly Orthodox Jewish circles, dating is limited to the search for a marriage partner.
Both sides (usually the singles themselves, parents, close relatives or friends of the persons involved) make inquiries about the prospective partner, e.g.
The number of bashows prior to announcing an engagement varies, as some have many bashows while others have as few as one, which is typical among the children of Hasidic Rebbes.
Bashert (or Beshert), (Yiddish: It is often used to refer to one's divinely foreordained spouse or soulmate, who is called one's "basherte" (female) or "basherter" (male).
Those who support marriage by shidduch believe that it complies with traditional Judaism's outlook on Tzeniut, modest behaviour in relations between men and women, and prevents promiscuity.
It may also be helpful in small Jewish communities where meeting prospective marriage partners is limited, and this gives them access to a broader spectrum of potential candidates.
However, when Eliezer proposes to take Rebekah back to Isaac in Canaan, he is told by Rebekah's family: "Let us ask the maiden" (i.e., Rebekah).
After the match has been proposed, the prospective partners meet a number of times to gain a sense of whether they are right for one another.
The number of dates prior to announcing an engagement may vary by community. In stricter communities, the couple may decide a few days after originally meeting with each other.
The Medieval Rabbi Nissim of Gerona (commonly called Ran) traces it back to the Aramaic word for "calm" (cf.
Targum to Judges ), and elaborates that the main purpose of the shidduch process is for young people to "settle down" into marriage.